Colin Montgomerie Golf Course Management

Satire

It was announced yesterday that Colin Montgomerie has been chosen to design an 18-hole Tournament golf course for the Riffa Golf and Residential Development Company in The Kingdom of Bahrain.

My prediction -- he'll choked on the 18th hole and it will end up looking like this:

Speaking of Bad Golf...

Satire

How 'bout that US Ryder Cup team? Sheesh!!!

An In-Depth Look at Steroid Use on the PGA Tour

Satire

I was reading an on-line article by Ron Kroichick in the San Francisco Chronicle the other day on the whole golf/steroids scandal. In the article, Kroichick lambasted PGA Tour Commissioner, Tim Finchem for saying the PGA does not plan to drug test golfers. Kroinchick takes exception to this, saying:



Baseball is awash in tainted home-run hitters over the past decade, the NFL might strengthen its testing program in the wake of the Carolina steroids scandal, track and field is littered with fallen stars and the winner of the Tour's premier race, tested positive.

And later in the article he states:

Many, many athletes use performance-enhancing drugs.

Those athletes come from a wide variety of sports.

Fame and wealth are powerful lures.

I couldn't agree more. Steroid use is obviously rampent on the PGA Tour. Let's examine the proof. I have here before and after pictures of the top five golfers in the world.

While the images speak for themselves (and prove the point that the PGA Tour must begin testing immediately) I can't help but add my comments:


First Case - Tiger Woods


Tiger woods before taking steroids responds to a little boy who asked for his autograph.














Tiger woods after taking Steroids reacts to a little boy who asked for his autograph.









Second Case Jim Furyk

Jim Furyk before taking steroids. An easy going smile. A nice man without a care in the world.
















Jim Furyk after taking steroids. Notice the hate and anger as he charges into the gallary to punch a photographer for snapping a shot in the middle of his backswing. An obvious response from someone who cannot control himself due to the extended use of steroids.





Third Case - Phil Mickelson


Phil Mickelson before steroids. A nice slim handsome man.













Phil Mickelson after steroids. Notice the extra bulk. That came from somewhere!!!

















Fourth Case - Vijay Singh

Vijay Singh before Steroids. A nice manner, in control of his emotions. Smiling and laughing with the gallery.















Vijay Singh After Steroids. Unable to control his emotions due to excessive use of performace enhancing drugs, Vijay finally breaks down.



And, I present to you the most compelling evidence that steroid use is out of control on the PGA tour, especially among the younger players...


Fifth Case - Adam Scott

Adam Scott in a photo montage of his swing, prior to steroid use.









Adam Scott bulked up on steroids.













Need I say more?

Cheers!

Rob

Badgolf Interviews Tiger Woods

Satire

You can’t believe how excited I was when Tiger Woods agreed to give me an interview for the badgolf blog. But, when you think about it, he missed a cut. Where better to give an interview.

We met at a Burger King in downtown Monterey; just a stones throw from Pebble Beach. Tiger wore a black Nike cap, black Nike pullover shirt, and black slacks. He look relaxed and calm as we sat in a bright orange booth seat to have a chat.

BGB: Tiger, I want to thank you so much for agreeing to this interview.

TW: No problem, Rob, anything for you.

BGB: So, Tiger, how did it feel to miss the cut in the Byron Nelson last week?

TW: Guess how much money I have.

BGB: Huh?

TW: Go on, guess.

BGB: 75 million?

TW: Way off.

BGB: More than God.

TW: Closer.

BGB: But getting back to the point of this interview, Tiger, how did it feel to miss the cut?

TW: Have you ever seen my wife?

BGB: Uh, well, only in pictures. But I want to talk about your performance last week in the Byron Nelson, and how it felt when you missed the cut.

TW: uh huh.

BGB: Well?

TW: Well, what?

BGB: You’re not answering my question.

TW: Yes I am.

BGB: You are?

TW: Of course I am. Are you stupid or something? Aren’t you listening? Read the transcript. This interview is over.

Cheers!

Rob

Mother's Day Surprise

Satire

I’ll never understand women. As loyal readers to this blog know, my wife and I recently had a baby. What you don’t know is we tried for over 5 years to get pregnant. After such an ordeal my wife was very, very happy and excited to become a mother. And she is a great mom. I’ve never once seen her lose her patience or get frustrated, even at three or four in the morning when she’s up feeding or diaper changing she’s enjoying herself, laughing and giggling with the little tyke.

So her reaction was really surprising when yesterday morning – her first mother’s day – I brought her a lovely bacon and eggs breakfast in bed and told her: “Today, I have the greatest mother’s day present you could ask for. I’m going to give you the entire day alone with Cierra while I go golfing.”

I hope egg doesn't stain.

Cheers!

Rob